situation normal
by stanzaic
Summary: The current captain is incompetent, Project Pretty is implemented, Loguetown is being slowly unbalanced, and everyone keeps saying Takagi Keiko is in charge. They need a new captain—badly. Smoker/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: **Smoker is fabulous and needs some love. This was inspired by a dream about drowning and shoes. (That'll make sense later, maybe, haha.) The title is based on the military acronym SNAFU, which means Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. ;) All you really need to know is that this story will be long and inundated with OCs. :) Constructive criticism is welcome! Hope you enjoy!

**disclaimer:** Don't own _One Piece_.

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**situation normal**

_May 27, 2014_

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_—chapter one_

It was a sultry summer day in Loguetown. Overhead the sky was bright blue, with nary a cloud in sight; and the sun was amber-gold, positively searing to even think about. The docks were abuzz with merchants and civilians. Only a few hundred yards away by the rocky shore pirates were docking as well.

Takagi Keiko was lining up Marines in the nearest two alleyways. "Keep back, keep back," she hissed, grabbing a fistful of Trevelyan Stiles' shirt to pull him into the shadows. "We can't let them see us until they're already running this way."

She turned and jogged back around to the other alley. Her best friend Thomas Arya was having a hushed argument with Adams Martin. "You two," Keiko hissed. "Save it for later." Adams gave her a sarcastic little salute, but Arya nodded once and turned away from Adams.

Out at the docks the pirates were all clambering down from their ship. Their laughter was loud enough to float toward the waiting Marines, even though there was no breeze to carry it. "Aye, lads!" someone was shouting. "Soon we'll be off to the Grand Line!"

_Yeah, maybe,_ Keiko thought. _But not in the way you think._ She grinned to herself as the adrenaline began to circulate. She ran around to the other side, where Trevelyan was _still_ half out of the shadows, and stood there, waiting for the right moment. "Ready?" Keiko whispered as the last few pirates trickled down to shore. "Get set…"

The pirates were, as presumed, walking toward the docks. In a few seconds they would be in a prime spot for attack—

"_Attack!_"

Keiko jumped as the Marines around her began to run pell-mell toward the pirates. She had not shouted the order. She looked up at the sky in annoyance, partly praying for patience, and then sprinted after the recruits. Captain Boneta Owen was running toward the pirates from the direction of the docks, his most faithful men with him.

Arya caught up with Keiko immediately. "Thought he'd just let us handle it," Arya said.

"Well, we always think wrong when it comes to Captain-sama," Keiko said dryly. She shot Arya a smile, though. "At least you didn't have to stand by Adams any longer!"

"I hate that asshole!" Arya shouted right as the two entered the melee.

Because Boneta had come running straight for the pirates and announced himself as he did so, some of them had already made it back to their ship. Keiko was stuck in the midst of the fighting: she lashed out with her elbow, kicked pirates in the groin, and thumbed one of them in the eye. She made full use of her knowledge of pressure points and took great pleasure in knocking out whichever pirates dared to come near her.

Boneta seemed to be faring rather badly. He was using his rifle as some kind of block, shrinking back away from a burly pirate. Keiko was tempted to leave him there but darted her way around and through tangles of limbs and shouts to slam the side of her hand into the back of the pirate's neck. The pirate stumbled automatically and Boneta knocked him out with a nasty thump to the head.

When Boneta saw it was Keiko, he sneered at her. "Just making sure you're all right, Captain-san," Keiko reported with a brilliant smile. She saluted him, turned, and started to run back toward the pirate ship. As she passed her other best friend Hiro he planted his palm into some pirate's solar plexus and then hurried to catch up with her.

"This is bad," Hiro panted as he sprinted alongside Keiko toward the ship.

"Don't I know it," grumbled Keiko. "Boneta's back."

"This was so not worth getting out of bed for," Hiro replied. They both skidded to a halt as the pirate ship began to pull away from the shore. Hiro and Keiko lifted their standard-issue rifles at once and began to shoot. Keiko mostly hit the ship; Hiro took out four pirates right in a row.

Unfortunately the ship still managed to pull away, the captain presumably onboard. "Can't get me, can ya, Marines!?" the captain shouted as the ship moved further off into the churning ocean. "I'll come back and get ya for the men I lost!"

Hiro and Keiko dropped their rifles, tilted their heads to the left, and watched simultaneously as the pirate ship became little more than a black chunk on the heat-wave horizon. "Oh, well," said Keiko. "Can't win 'em all."

"Or any of them, really," remarked Hiro.

"Takagi! Hiro!" The incompetent Boneta was yelling for them now. "Get back over here! You're not done yet!"

Hiro and Keiko turned back around. Keiko studiously avoided looking Hiro in the eye as they wandered back over to where the Marines were now standing, all of the pirates on the ground. Boneta was flushed and looked beyond annoyed. He was still standing by the pirate that Keiko had helped him knock out.

Boneta scowled at the pair. "Both of you are on cleaning duty tonight," he snapped. "For letting those pirates get away."

Hiro's irritation was almost palpable. Keiko's steely reserved-just-for-the-Captain smile snapped back into place and she saluted the man. "Anything for you, Captain-san," she said.

"Shut up," growled Boneta. "And get to work!"

Hiro and Keiko obeyed his orders by helping bind and carry the captured pirates back to the newly-instated Marine base. Keiko lingered until the last Marines had begun to trickle back; then she hefted a medium-sized unconscious man onto her back and started her own march. Trevelyan was a few yards ahead of her on the docks. He glanced around and fell back to walk with her.

"It's too bad that plan didn't work out," said Trevelyan. He was carrying a large quite conscious pirate himself. "We just have to be more careful about—" He suddenly dodged to the side, struggling with the pirate, and dropped the guy to the ground. Keiko stopped and looked down. The pirate, having now hit his head on the hard wood of the docks, had blacked out. "About bringing Gomez along," Trevelyan continued as he picked the pirate back up.

Keiko and Trevelyan resumed walking. They turned a corner away from the docks—Keiko waved at a citizen who waved at them—and started down an alley. "I thought Gomez said he didn't like the captain anymore," said Keiko.

"He was lying," Trevelyan replied.

"I can see it," Keiko said, and sighed. "Is honesty too much to ask?"

Trevelyan offered her a mildly sympathetic look. "Apparently. He probably thought he'd be a good spy for Boneta or something."

Keiko snickered. "Well, at least that worked out for him."

They reached the Marine base last; Boneta snapped at them as they rushed into the cool air-conditioned building. Keiko and Trevelyan deposited their pirates in separate jail cells in the basement before heading back up to the cafeteria.

The place was madness. Keiko lost Trevelyan almost immediately but caught sight of Arya's long blonde hair. "Hey, Arya," Keiko said, slipping between two recruits to stand beside her friend. Arya twisted around and sighed noisily, threading her arm through Keiko's. Keiko craned her neck to see what was going on: they were in line for the food, but they were a ways out, not close to even picking up dark gray scratched trays. "I wonder what's for dinner tonight."

"Questionable substances, most likely," said Arya. Keiko grinned. Arya still looked crabby. "I can't believe Adams had the gumption to try and stand with me. All he did last week was spread rumors about me."

"Your ex-boyfriends do tend to do that," Keiko replied. "I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. If people are still talking to you now, after all the things that have been said about you, you're in the clear."

"Jennings Krissy doesn't talk to me," Arya retorted.

"Trust me, dear," said Keiko, patting Arya's hand. "That's a good thing."

Arya just sighed again. The line moved forward, at least. Keiko glanced around, comfortable with the silence: everyone else in here was loud enough for them anyway. Only one of the long cafeteria tables was filled. Carlton Willis was already standing on his seat and yelling at someone.

Keiko tried not to laugh at the sight. "I'll be right back," she said to Arya, slipping out of her grip and then out of the line.

"Don't get involved," Arya called after her but with little feeling. It was just understood now that Keiko would, indeed, always get involved.

Willis was ranting about someone having tripped him during training today. He seemed to think it had been Jackson by the way he was gesturing. Keiko stopped behind Jackson, arms folded, and regarded Willis for a moment with some amusement. Willis was a short, stocky, dark-haired guy who spoke with crazy gestures. He was currently windmilling his arms.

"Hey, Willis," said Lester, who sat beside the angry man. He grabbed Willis's pant leg.

"What?" Willis demanded, looking down. Lester just pointed at Keiko. Willis glanced up and frowned. "I know, I know," he said, climbing back down to stand behind his seat. "I won't stand on my seat."

"Thanks, Will-kun," said Keiko brightly. "Also, if you want to know who tripped you, ask for second and third opinions before picking someone to blame." She waved at him and turned to walk back to her place in line. Jackson shouted a thanks after her and she turned back for half a second to give him a thumbs-up.

Arya seemed resigned when Keiko reentered the line. Their spot had only barely shifted up. "That guy's a little crazy," Arya commented.

"Not _crazy_, per se," Keiko replied. "Just emotional."

"No, he's crazy," said Arya.

Keiko laughed. Arya glanced at her and smiled a little herself. In front of them Harington Ryder, a phenomenally lazy man, twisted around. "I heard crazy," he said in his surprisingly clear and even voice. "I assume you were discussing the Captain."

"Fair assumption, but no," said Keiko.

"It's certainly a good thing we'll be getting a new one soon," said Harington. The line moved forward.

Keiko and Arya exchanged incredulous glances. Harington looked at them in bemusement. "You didn't know?" he said. After exchanging another glance Keiko and Arya shook their heads. "I heard it from Farmer," Harington explained. "Working in the office today. I don't know who it is, but anyone will be better than Boneta."

"When is he coming?" asked Arya.

"Within the next week," said Harington.

"Oh, _brilliant!_" burst Keiko. She grabbed Harington's hand and pumped it wildly. "Thank you so much for telling us! This is great news!" Her smile was so big she felt a little as though it might swallow her face.

Arya patted her shoulder. "Um, Keiko, sweetie," she said, "I think you need to calm down a little."

"No, no," said Keiko, rounding on Arya. "This is one of the last times I will ever be wrongly forced into other peoples' cleaning duties!" With this happy declaration Keiko flung her arms around Arya and hugged her. After a second Arya petted her head.

_A new captain within the next week!_ It was the best news Keiko had heard in a long time. The last time she was this excited was—well, about an hour ago, before the chaotic battle against those pirates. Still, Keiko was practically giddy with cheer now. Boneta had been captain of the Loguetown base for as long as Keiko and Arya had been stationed there, which would be a year come September. Loguetown was a relatively new base itself; the World Government had only recently caught up with just how many pirates went in and out of the town on their way to the Grand Line.

Keiko had no idea how Boneta had managed to hang on for so long. From editing reports and calling himself the hero, probably. She would have reported him if anyone at Headquarters cared to listen to a mere Lieutenant.

"Wow," Hiro piped up. Keiko finally released Arya, who shook her head, and turned around. Hiro already had a tray of interesting-looking goop. "Did you offer to take her cleaning duties?"

Arya snorted. "No way."

"We're getting a new captain within the week!" Keiko exclaimed.

Hiro grinned. "That's great news!" He looked down at his tray. "Now I understand the desire to hug someone, but I think I'll pass."

"And I think I'll pass on that," remarked Arya. "What is it?"

"They said it was meatloaf," Hiro replied.

Keiko leaned over to sniff the mystery meat. It smelled like a combination of old sock and bad haddock. She shrugged and poked it, then licked her finger. "It tastes like chicken," she said. "How peculiar."

"That's our dinner guys for ya," said Hiro, shaking his head. "Cooking badly and obsessed with chicken." Hiro turned and pointed at a table rather in the center of the cafeteria, in the middle of everything. "I'm gonna sit there. See you guys in a few minutes."

He strode away to grab the chosen table. Harington, who had turned away to chat with someone else for a moment, glanced back. "What did Hiro-san say they were serving?"

"Death," said Arya. "That tastes like chicken."


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: **Thanks for the review and the favorite! :3 I hope you like this chapter!

**disclaimer:** Don't own _One Piece_!

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**situation normal**

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_—chapter two_

A week later it was hotter than ever and the Marines of Loguetown had still not been freed. Captain Boneta had taken to stalking around the training yards and calling out more recruits than usual. "Look!" he was now shouting, as he slapped some poor new guy in the shin with a wooden rod. "You're kicking the wrong way!"

Keiko, who was in line for a relay a few rows down, leaned back to look at the scene. When she saw how drenched in sweat and terrified the new guy looked she whistled. "Poor man," she said, shaking her head. "He had no clue what was coming when he signed up."

Jennings Krissy, who was behind Keiko in line, shoved her lightly. "Move forward," Krissy snapped. Her voice was high-pitched and sweet. Sadly her attitude did not match her voice. "If we win this, the other team will be stuck with our cleaning duties. I know _you_ like cleaning, but don't assume the same of the rest of us."

Keiko twisted back around and mimed Krissy's nagging for her own amusement. There was only one person left before it was Keiko's turn. She squinted up at the sky for a moment, putting her hand to her forehead. She was already sweating like a pig and the only thing she'd done this morning was two laps around the cross-country path.

Arya, who was on the other team, came running up from the other side. She was covered in a thick coat of mud but her hair still looked pristine. "It's _wretched_," Arya shouted toward Keiko, even as she slapped the hand of her teammate and the guy took off toward the first obstacle. "Save yourself!"

"No way," Keiko called back.

It was almost her turn now, anyway. The guy in front of her had just taken off. "Hey, good job," Keiko said to the wheezing Marine, just stumbling past her. "Go inside and get some water."

"Sure thing," the Marine panted back.

Keiko frowned after him. She had said to Boneta this morning that it was a bad day to be training—it was way too hot. There had already been three cases of dehydration and it was barely past ten. Of course, it was no surprise that Boneta had waved her off; he did that whenever she said anything, especially if it was something valid.

In a few minutes Krissy had begun to nag Lester, who was waiting in line behind her. Keiko prayed to the Lord that nobody else would collapse; then she prayed that Krissy would be forcibly thrown from her high horse, and she didn't care how. She had just finished with this prayer when the guy who'd been in front of her showed back up, panting strenuously, red as a tomato.

Keiko edged forward and stuck out her arm as far as it would go. "Come on, come on," she called to the guy. "You can do it! You're almost there!"

He finally reached her and slapped her hand. Keiko sprinted toward the wooden wall that was the first obstacle and sprang up toward it. She grabbed hold of it, scrabbled for a good hold with her feet, and managed to fling herself over to the other side. She had to land in a roll before hopping back up and rushing ahead.

The obstacle course was much harder than it had ever been in this sweltering heat. Keiko had to pause a couple of times to make sure she could still function. The mud hole about halfway through the course was sweet, although downright nasty, relief. It took her longer to just wade through it but the cool mud was too fabulous an opportunity to pass up.

Keiko almost fell into the dirt again—this time accidentally—when she reached the balance portion of the course. The sun was beating down horribly and Keiko was starting to imagine that the entire landscape was just made of heat waves. _Thank God I wasn't assigned to a desert,_ Keiko thought.

She and her opponent reached the final sprint at the same moment. Keiko glanced over—it was Harington Ryder—and grinned. "Given up yet?" Keiko shouted at him.

"No way in hell, Takagi!"

Keiko laughed and turned ahead, putting on a final burst of speed. She actually dove to slap Krissy's hand: and she did so, afterwards landing with a painful thud on the grass. Keiko laid there for a second, spread-eagle. She closed her eyes and focused on controlling her breathing.

"Uh, Takagi-chan?" someone asked.

Keiko rolled over and blocked the sun with her hand. Lester was looking down at her in worry. "Oh, hello, Lester-kun," said Keiko. "Didn't see you there."

"Go get some water," said Lester.

"Sir yes sir," Keiko replied. She held out her hand and Lester helped her to her feet. Keiko clapped him on the back. "Good luck. The mud is great."

With that said, Keiko turned and stumbled toward the back. The training building had an overhang, under which there were several wooden benches. The benches were steadily filling with Marines. Arya saw Keiko and patted the seat beside her. Keiko nodded—but went off to the locker rooms to fish her water bottle out of her bag before returning to take the seat.

"Look at us," said Arya. She sounded—and looked—much better than she had earlier. "We're a hideous mess."

Keiko couldn't find it in herself to care. The water was too nice. Keiko reached up and rubbed her face: she felt sweaty and hot, but at least there wasn't any mud on her face. She looked down and swatted at her pants. The mud had already dried.

She lifted her water bottle and squirted some of the water onto her head. "Ahh," Keiko sighed. She couldn't find a big enough square of clean white cotton left of her shirt, so she turned and mopped her face off with the back of Arya's matching shirt. "Do it, Arya," Keiko said into Arya's back. "Water is _great_."

"Ew, quit it," Arya said, pushing Keiko off.

Keiko found it took too much energy to respond and instead sank back against the bench. She felt like a puddle.

Boneta had wandered over to stand by the few people left for the obstacle relay. Keiko watched him idly. He had his arms folded; Keiko thought that he, at least, looked well-watered. The thought irritated her. "Come on," Boneta shouted, as Krissy and her opponent came jogging back into sight. "You can both go faster than that! What are you, Marines or civilians!?"

Keiko frowned at him. "Hold this," said Keiko, shoving her water bottle into Arya's hand. She stood up and waited for a moment to make sure she was steady again.

"Hang on, no," said Arya. "Where are you going?"

"There's only a few people left," Keiko replied. "Gotta cheer them on." She half-grinned at Arya before turning and walking back out into the blistering sun. Keiko walked around Boneta and walked over to stand a few feet out from the starting point. "Come on, Krissy-chan!" Keiko shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth. "You can do it! Run for that water!"

Krissy glanced at her, scowled, and put on an extra burst of speed, as if to prove something to Keiko. Keiko wasn't sure what it was but also didn't care as long as Krissy moved faster. "Yeah!" Keiko called. "Get it, Krissy-chan!"

Lester started to run next. "Run, Lester-kun!" Keiko yelled at him. "Run like the wind! If you run fast enough it starts to feel like there's a breeze!"

Keiko distinctly heard Lester cackle before he flung himself up at the wall.

A few minutes later Hiro, who had been in a different group and working on kicks with the new guy, wandered over. He was holding a water bottle and his hair was soaked. "This is horrible," Hiro sing-songed. He caught sight of Boneta and winced. "Hope he didn't hear that."

"Like he cares if he did," Keiko replied. She glanced at the people left of each relay team. There were only two left for both sides. "That new guy doing okay?"

Hiro snorted. "Define okay."

"Not dead?"

"Then he's great."

Lester and his opponent appeared in the near distance, just as Boneta suddenly turned and walked away. Keiko glanced after him—he dug a Baby Den Den Mushi out of his pocket as he disappeared around the corner of the training building. The moment he was gone Keiko turned around and screamed at the exhausted Marines: "_Both of you run as fast as you can! Boneta left but he'll be back any second!_"

Hiro snickered. "That's great incentive," he said, but then he shouted to the two: "She's right! Hurry it up, boys!"

Lester came in second. "Go!" Keiko and Hiro shrieked at once as the second-to-last racers started off. Keiko added, however: "We're all waiting for you to get back! So you better get a move on!"

"You get water when you get back!" Hiro called.

The two disappeared over their respective walls. A few reluctant Marines wandered out from the shade of the training building's overhang to stand by their respective teams. Arya joined Hiro and Keiko. "This is wretched," she said again. She looked miserable.

"Aw, it's all right," said Hiro, patting Arya's head. "At least you're already done. I have this on the next rotation."

"What have we got?" Arya asked Keiko.

Keiko shrugged.

"Doom, probably," muttered Arya.

While everyone waited for the two Marines to return, more of those who had been sitting in the shade came out to stand by their teams. By the time they came back there were more people watching out in the sun than sitting in the shade. Together they all hooped and hollered at the Marines making their way back.

Being out in bad weather or in generally bad situations, Keiko had discovered, was made much better when there were people to share in the experience with. And indeed, none of the racers flopped to the ground when they returned. One of them even went to get water and then walked right back out to cheer on their teammate.

Boneta came back while the last two were running. The Marines who had completed the course—and others who had come over during a break from kicking—had all gathered together at the finish line. Boneta stopped a few feet away and eyed them with some inscrutable expression on his face.

"What's up with him?" Arya murmured, nudging Keiko with her shoulder.

Keiko glanced over at Boneta. "Not a clue," she said. "Don't really care, either."

"I bet we will in a minute," Arya said, and sighed.

Before they had to worry, though, the last two runners came back into sight. The Marines all went wild screaming for them. It was madness when they came in: and Arya and Harington Ryder's team won by a hair. "Who won?" Krissy shouted from where she sat under the overhang. "Who won!?"

"We did!" Arya called back.

"Dammit!" Krissy retorted.

Arya laughed and shoved Keiko lightly. "We won! You get to go back to your favorite cleaning duties!"

Keiko laughed too and rubbed her shoulder. "Don't rub it in," she joked, hip-checking Arya right into Hiro. Hiro looked highly alarmed for a second and had to scramble to catch Arya. Keiko laughed even harder at the sight.

Unfortunately it was then that Boneta decided to end the festivities. "All of you, quiet down," he shouted, striding over to stand in front of them. "Be quiet, I said!"

The Marines slowly but surely obeyed.

"Finally," grumbled Boneta. He glowered around at all of them. "I'm leaving in a few minutes," he said. "I expect all of you to be in perfect order for the new captain." Keiko grabbed Arya's hand and squeezed it hard. _This was the moment they'd all been waiting for!_ "Harington, your group rotates to defense! Takagi, your group rotates to kicking!" He proceeded to shout a few more instructions before quite abruptly turning on his heel and marching off.

"Good luck, Captain," Keiko shouted after him.

The captain glanced back in annoyance, but the Marines had already split up. The second Boneta had disappeared around the corner of the building Keiko and Arya turned to each other and screamed. "It's happening!" Arya wailed. She flung her arms around Keiko this time. "We're _free!_"

Hiro wrapped them both up in a bear-hug and lifted them off the ground while they both still screamed. "We've done it!" Hiro shouted. He dropped them and sang, "Emancipation at last!"

"Better get to work, you three," said Carlton Willis, who paused in passing. "You want the new captain to catch you screaming?"

Keiko snickered at the thought. She wished Arya and Hiro good luck before marching off with her own group toward the sparse kicking dummies only several yards away. Once there, the recruits all stood around for a moment, looking at each other. "So," said Krissy, turning toward Keiko. "Now what?"

Then all of them were looking at her. Keiko shrugged. "We can split in smaller groups," she offered. "Have a few lines of different kicks."

At Krissy's insistence Keiko moved on to designate each dummy as a different kicking station. Then Keiko joined the roundhouse line and shouted for them to start. Once everyone had gone through a line four times they rotated into the next line.

A good ten minutes later Keiko stepped out of her line. It was still hot out, and everyone's enthusiasm had dropped about ten notches. "Come on," Keiko called, clapping her hands. "Move your butts, bitchachos!"

"Takagi?"

Keiko immediately twisted around to find the source of the call. She spotted two men standing under the nearby overhang. It had to be the new captain, and some sort of official messenger, probably. Keiko reached up to tighten her ponytail only to realize it was half-falling out and there would be no help; then she shrugged to herself, told Lester he was in charge, and walked back over to the shade of the overhang.

Only one of the two men was in official uniform. The other, Keiko decided, had to be the new captain. The new captain was tall and muscular, with—Keiko had to wait a moment for her eyes to adjust to the shade—messy white hair. He was all angles, with a sharp jawline and cool gray eyes. And he was positively _delicious_. Keiko actually regretted the state of her hair now.

"_You're_ Takagi?" asked the Marine official.

Keiko glanced at him and smiled. "Yes, sir!" she said. She glanced back at the new captain, who seemed to be scrutinizing her. "Welcome to our training facilities, Captain," said Keiko.

The captain grunted.

_And a sparkling personality to boot,_ Keiko thought. He was still good-looking, though significantly less so if he was incapable of holding proper conversation. Keiko turned toward the Marine official, who seemed puzzled. "We were asking all over about who was in charge here," said the official, rubbing his chin. He looked down at a clipboard he was holding. "Everyone kept referring us to Takagi…but the captain of this base was Boneta Owen."

Keiko could feel a pleased and flattered flush creeping up the back of her neck. She scratched at it nervously. "Captain Boneta was officially in charge," she agreed.

"So who are _you_?" asked the official.

"Takagi," said Keiko.

The new captain snorted. Then he started to turn away. "Come on," he said impatiently to Keiko and the Marine official. Keiko took a step after him, but the official still looked confused. "That's Takagi," the new captain said, pointing at Keiko. "We found her." He paused, and then added, "Thanks for showing me around, but I can take it from here."

"Are—are you sure, Captain Smoker?" asked the official doubtfully.

"Yes, Marine," said Smoker. The way he said 'Marine' sounded slightly demeaning. "You can go back to your ship and bring Boneta to wherever he's been assigned."

"Well—okay," said the official. He still seemed skeptical, but he saluted Smoker anyway. "Good luck, sir."

Smoker nodded at him. The official ended up walking away past Smoker, and out through the training building. Keiko waved at him when he glanced back. Then she redirected her attention to the distractingly broad-shouldered Captain Smoker. She wondered what his first name was, or if he had one.

He studied her for a moment. "How did you get to be in charge?" he asked.

Keiko shrugged. "It helped that Boneta was an incompetent lout."

The new captain snorted again. Keiko grinned at him. "Come on," he said, turning and starting to walk away. "Grab your things. You're coming back to base with me."


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n:** Thanks for reading, if anyone is! :3

**disclaimer:** I don't own _One Piece_.

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**situation normal**

* * *

_—chapter three_

The short journey back to the main base was quiet and cryptic. Keiko was starting to feel rather nervous about it as she went. The new captain had yet to state why they were returning to the base; in fact, he had yet to say anything at all. Keiko had the feeling that he wasn't the type of guy who would take kindly to random conversation, like Trevelyan or Lester, so she kept to herself.

The sun was slowly moving higher in the sky. Keiko squinted up at it and wondered if she was going to be fired before lunchtime. Was that what this little meeting was about? She seriously hoped not. Getting fired would be horrible for a multitude of reasons. Mostly she thought about how Arya would be stuck navigating the mostly masculine world of the Marines with Jennings Krissy if Keiko got fired.

Upon entering the cool air-conditioned main base Smoker turned and immediately led the way down the hall. Keiko caught sight of Adams Martin on the way and waved at him. "Hey, Takagi," Adams said. "What're you doing back?"

Keiko shrugged at him and gestured at Smoker's back. Adams' eyes widened and he darted off, probably to spread rumors about Keiko getting fired. Keiko rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Smoker, who suddenly turned and entered a room on the left. Keiko trailed after him.

It had to be his new office. There was a clean wooden desk and a few stacks of boxes in the left corner. There were two empty bookshelves, one against the left wall, and one against the right; and there were two windows, one in the left wall and one in the back. Captain Smoker waited for Keiko to enter before closing the door behind her and walking around his desk to sit down.

There was no chair for Keiko to sit on in front of the desk, so she glanced at Smoker before pushing the nearest stack of boxes over in front of the desk. She then proceeded to sit on them. Smoker eyed her for a moment.

"Am I getting fired, sir?" Keiko asked.

"No," said Smoker. Keiko let out a breath of relief she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "But you are getting interviewed."

"Well, that's all right, then," said Keiko with a smile. She quickly added "Sir" when she realized she had no idea how this new captain liked to be addressed. Smoker was still inscrutable as he leaned over to pick up a clipboard from a box behind the desk. Then he picked up a pencil.

"Information," said Smoker, pencil ready to go.

"Takagi Keiko," said Keiko. "Originally from Lee in the East Blue. I was assigned here a year ago in September. This is my first assignment."

"Age?" asked Smoker, pencil scratching the paper. He didn't look up.

"Twenty-one," Keiko reported.

After a moment Smoker glanced up and studied her. Keiko looked back at him blankly. "You're young to be in charge of everyone," Smoker remarked. He looked back down and made some note on the paper. "Boneta was forty and he couldn't control anyone."

"With all due respect, sir," said Keiko, "Captain Boneta was needlessly rude, stupidly proud, and failed magnificently at leading anyone into battle."

"Yeah, I see that," Smoker muttered. He flipped through a few papers he was holding in his lap. "Loguetown is a prime destination for pirates looking to resupply on their way to the Grand Line, but only sixty-two pirates have been captured here in a year."

Keiko started to scratch her head when she remembered what a mess her hair was. She awkwardly dropped her hand. There was no way she was going to make her hair look even worse than it already did in front of this guy. She wished she could have asked him how old _he_ was without being out of line. He did have white hair, but he couldn't have been over thirty-five, unless he was one of those that aged miraculously.

"How do the citizens feel toward the Marines?" Smoker asked.

Keiko shrugged. "It depends on the citizen, really, sir," she said. "Most of them prefer not to have their wares stolen from them by pirates. I'd imagine, though, that none of the vendors would particularly like all of their business dropping."

"Business dropping?"

"Yeah," said Keiko. "If we start catching all the pirates."

"It is not an if, Takagi, it is a when," said Smoker. He wrote something else down on his paper for a few minutes, during which time Keiko glanced around his office and tried not to stare at him. "How were you promoted to Lieutenant?"

Keiko grinned. "I led the two most successful pirate captures."

Smoker looked up at her now. "You did," he said flatly.

"I did," said Keiko. "Sir."

"Could you tell me what happened?"

Keiko thought about it. She hated braggers, and she preferred not to be one herself, but she loved getting the chance to explain. "Last November Captain Boneta was out meeting a Marine ship for some new recruits. We got a call here from a lookout that a pirate ship was docking. I organized a group of Marines and we went out and snuck up on the pirates."

Smoker didn't look pleased. Keiko wasn't sure if he ever did, or if he actually looked disapproving. "You didn't report it to the captain?"

"We tried, sir," said Keiko. "Captain Boneta was difficult to contact. The same thing happened just this past February, except that time my group took out two pirate ships and had to stop a civilian storage unit from burning."

Smoker rubbed his chin. "Why did you decide to become a Marine, Takagi?"

Keiko blinked at him. "To stop injustice," she said, after a moment. "To protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"You don't believe in absolute justice, then?"

Smoker and Keiko stared at each other for a minute. Keiko wasn't sure what the right answer was. She didn't want to say the wrong thing and suddenly have him actually fire her. "No," she said slowly. "It depends on every situation."

"There are always outside circumstances," Smoker agreed. Keiko was relieved—and pleased; she liked this guy already, and it wasn't just his looks (anymore). "Is there anyone here I should win over?" Then Smoker smirked. "Besides you."

Keiko flashed him a smile. _You flatter me, sir,_ she considered saying. She decided it was probably too early in the relationship to banter with him. He'd only just now showed any semblance of a smile. "Definitely Mayor Taira," said Keiko. "The civilians all like him. If he likes you, they will, too. And so will his kids."

"Nobody else in the base?" asked Smoker, as he presumably made a note for himself about the mayor.

Keiko thought about it. "Lester," she decided aloud. "He's an Ensign."

"Why him?"

"He never dislikes anyone," said Keiko. "If he dislikes you, everyone else will give you wide berth."

Smoker nodded. "How are the training facilities?" he asked. "Were those the only ones we have?"

"Those are the only ones," Keiko replied. "We have the gym inside, the obstacle course, the kicking area, and a mat. We do also have a cross-country track, though. It snakes up through the woods past the training building."

"What was Boneta's scheduling like?" Smoker queried. Keiko must have given him a strange look, because he added, "He didn't leave any notes."

"Sounds like him," said Keiko. "He had us split into groups by room locations. We all kind of switch off training, keeping watch, and answering civilian calls. We each have about two days of doing each thing before switching off again."

"Interesting," muttered Smoker in a tone that suggested it was anything but. Keiko grinned. "Who's in charge at the training building now?"

Keiko rubbed her chin. "Well, Captain Boneta was. He gave us orders for the next rotation before he left. Then you showed up." Keiko added a "Sir" when she realized how informal her last sentence sounded.

Smoker glanced up at her. "None of you can figure out how to rotate yourselves?"

"I'm certain we can," said Keiko. "I just think Captain Boneta didn't like having to actually do things, such as protecting civilians and capturing pirates."

Smoker snorted and shook his head. "You don't hide your opinions, do you, Takagi."

"No, sir," said Keiko brightly. In fact, she prided herself on being dead honest.

After a moment during which Smoker read back over the notes he'd just made he glanced up and said, "You're dismissed."

Keiko stood up and looked down at the box she'd been sitting on. She had left a few pieces of dried mud there. She leaned over to brush them off before turning and taking a step back toward the door. Then she turned around. "Sorry, sir, but should I return to training, or go somewhere else?"

Smoker rubbed his temples. "Where _is_ everyone else?"

His frustration was understandable. "There are the groups in training," said Keiko, "and a group at the docks. There are Marines monitoring and answering civilian calls. There's a group cleaning and a group building an attachment. There's a group planting flowers for the mayor and a group bringing rocks from the harbor to the other side of the island. Oh—and there's a group washing dishes at a couple of restaurants."

Smoker stared at her. Keiko looked back at him. He pressed his palm to his forehead. "Why," he said rather than asked, voice slightly muffled by his forearm. "Why are they doing all these things."

Keiko wasn't sure if this was rhetorical. "Would you like explanations, sir?"

"Yes," said Smoker plaintively. "Please."

"Well," said Keiko, trying to remember what all she'd said, "training is self-explanatory. So is monitoring calls. And watching the docks. Hum…the group cleaning is also self-explanatory. The attachment is being built on the back of the building we're in; I think Captain Boneta wanted to extend his quarters." Keiko paused, thinking.

Smoker removed his hand. "Well?" he prodded.

"Er," said Keiko, "the mayor just really likes flowers, I guess, and wanted someone official to plant them…and Captain Boneta ticked off these brother restaurant owners and sent Marines in to wash dishes for compensation."

"The rocks?" Smoker persisted.

"That one just really makes no sense," Keiko started.

Smoker snorted in disbelief. "The rest of them _do_?"

"Well, no," Keiko admitted. "Not really. Anyway—Captain Boneta thought that, um, the island was slowly tilting off-balance, so to realign the island we had to redistribute the weight to the other side."

There was another long moment in which Smoker just stared at her. Keiko thought she saw his eye tic. "Fine," he finally said. Then he stood up. "You're going to show me where all these Marines are. I'll decide what to do with them from there."

"Yes, sir," said Keiko. Smoker stood behind his desk for a moment; he reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigar. While he busied himself with that Keiko turned, thinking about the smoke, and swung open the office door. Immediately on the other side there stood Adams Martin and a food guy named Kelly. They both jumped; Keiko waved them off as inconspicuously as she could and leaned back against the door, closing it slightly. She looked back at Smoker, who was taking a step out from behind his desk, the lit cigar in his mouth.

He glanced at Keiko, who smiled innocently at him. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing, sir," said Keiko, swinging the door open wide again. Adams and Kelly were gone. "Not anymore, anyway."

Smoker gave her a bemused look and stepped out into the hallway. Keiko closed the door to his office behind herself. "Do you want to see where the more legitimate activities take place, sir?" Keiko asked, clasping her hands behind her back.

"I've already seen this building, the training building, and the lookouts at the harbor," said Smoker, counting off on his fingers.

"That only leaves the less legitimate activities," Keiko remarked. "Sir."

Smoker sighed and reached up to push one of his hands through his hair. Keiko tried not to stare at him. At least he didn't seem to notice.

When they reached the lobby of the building Keiko stopped. Smoker stopped and looked at her expectantly. "Sorry, sir," said Keiko. She glanced down. "But I'd really prefer to change out of these clothes, if that's all right with you."

Smoker gave her a quick once-over. "Sure," he said. "Move quickly."

"Yes, sir," said Keiko. She saluted him and jogged off, turning the corner and heading for the nearest staircase. Once on the stairs she sprinted to the fourth floor—where the women's barracks were, though there were literally only three women here—and to the room she shared with Arya. Krissy, the lucky duck, had gotten the half-empty room. And because Boneta made no sense they hadn't been allowed to spread out across the floor.

Keiko burst into her room and yanked her shirt off before she even closed the door. She wished she could have showered before changing as she still felt quite disgusting but she supposed there was no choice now. She changed all of her clothes, including her undergarments, before pulling on a clean uniform. She tossed her dirty clothes into the laundry hamper and then ran across the hall to the bathroom.

Once there she caught sight of her reflection and cringed. She used the restroom before returning to the sinks to scrub the dirt off her hands. At least her bright orange nail polish was still intact, Keiko noted cheerfully.

She dried off her hands and then paused to consider her hair. Sure, it was half-falling out, but it did look very authentic, if nothing else. And she did kind of like how it was flopping slightly to the side.

_Nope,_ thought Keiko. _Fixing it._

She untangled the hair elastic and then shook her hair out. She quickly tied it back up into a messy bun. The second it looked mildly passable Keiko rushed back over to her room to grab her uniform hat and jam it onto her head. She only remembered at the last second to grab a blue tie and pull it on.

_Dear Lord, please let this go well,_ Keiko thought as she clattered back down the stairs. _Please have this guy not want to jump into the harbor by the end of it. Thanks and I love You, as always! Amen!_

Keiko strode back out into the lobby still tying her uniform tie. Smoker was leaning against the wall, looking annoyed, casual, and fabulous. "Sorry about that, sir," said Keiko when she reached him.

"It's fine, Marine," said Smoker.

Keiko wondered if he just called people 'Marine' when he was irritable with them. It certainly didn't sound like a compliment the way he said it.

She led the way back out of the cool building into the burning heat. Keiko held the door for Smoker and then turned to the left. "Wouldn't the harbor be closest?" Smoker asked.

"Yes," said Keiko. "But we can hit the mayor's and one of the restaurants along the way if we take the longer way round."

With this stated she began the march. She led the way down a few alleys and then up a few streets; she exchanged smiles and waves with any civilians she recognized. When Keiko caught sight of a prominent shopkeeper named Madam Mendoza she grabbed Smoker's arm—only taking hold of his jacket—and pulled him toward the woman.

When they stopped in front of her Keiko quickly released him and refused to look at him. "Good afternoon, Madam Mendoza," said Keiko. "How've you been?"

"Oh, good, good," said Madam Mendoza. She had curly orange hair and always wore pink. Today was no exception. She looked up at Smoker, who was at least a foot taller than her, and smiled kind of nervously and awkwardly. "And who's this?"

"This is Captain Boneta's replacement," said Keiko proudly. "Captain Smoker, this is a friend of mine, Madam Mendoza."

"It's good to meet you, sir," said Madam Mendoza respectfully.

Smoker, for his part, shook her hand, and said, "Likewise."

"It'll be good to have a new captain, if I may say," added Madam Mendoza. She quickly canvassed Smoker. "Where were you stationed before this?"

"At Anterieur," said Smoker.

Madam Mendoza looked surprised. "Well, I'm glad our little town managed to get you," she said. She seemed really pleased about it. "I'm sure you two are busy; I'll let you get on with your business." She smiled. "Have a good rest of the day, Lieutenant, Captain!"

Keiko and Smoker moved on. When they turned the nearby corner Keiko immediately turned and smoothed down his sleeve. Smoker looked at her in bemusement. "Sorry about that, sir," said Keiko. "If Madam Mendoza approves, so does half of Loguetown."

"Why didn't you mention her earlier?"

"I only just remembered her," Keiko said sheepishly. She twisted her lips. "And now that I think about it, I probably should have mentioned Boneta's favorites, too. His most loyal followers were a group of Lieutenants: Gomez, Grande, Tricks, and Tylers."

Smoker snorted. Keiko glanced at him. "Yeah, I know," she said. "I think they did it on purpose."

"How dangerous are they?"

"We'll find out."


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n:** Thanks for the review and the favorites and the follows! :D I'm glad people are enjoying this!

**disclaimer:** I don't own _One Piece_.

* * *

**situation normal**

* * *

_—chapter four_

The first stop that Keiko and Smoker made was at the central courtyard-style park. There was a swarm of Marines in white shirts puttering around and, indeed, planting flowers. Keiko spotted Carter Winslow and waved at him. He was holding a clipboard and standing off to the side, looking official. He gestured at Smoker—who was looking around and looking increasingly skeptical—with his pen. Keiko nodded animatedly.

"I think the man in charge is over here," said Keiko, nudging Smoker's arm. He turned and walked with her over to where Winslow was standing. Winslow was already turning pink and he shifted around nervously. "Hi, Winslow-kun," said Keiko with a smile. "This is Captain Smoker."

"Hello, sir," said Winslow, giving Smoker a stiff salute.

"Relax, Marine," said Smoker, who clearly already disliked Winslow by association. Smoker was still looking around, eyebrows raised. Keiko took a moment to glance around as well; the lawn was green and there were a few nice little paths winding around and through some trees. There was a little red bridge in the middle of the park that Keiko could see through the trees.

The Marines were all planting their flowers at random intervals. There were only one stretch of untouched lawn; it was marked off by blue tape. Keiko turned back to Winslow. "Captain Boneta's gone?" Winslow asked her. She nodded. He looked relieved.

"What is happening here?" Smoker asked.

"Well, sir," said Winslow, reddening further, "Captain Boneta teamed up with Mayor Taira to organize—er—"

"What is it, Marine?" Smoker queried. His expression was darkening with every passing second. Keiko took a small step back from the two; she wanted to stay away from the reach of Smoker's temper, whatever it was like. She wondered absently if it was more cleaning duties or wooden rods.

Winslow pulled at his collar. "Project—Project Pretty, sir."

Keiko offered the man a sympathetic smile. Winslow glanced at her and then followed her lead, taking a small step back from Smoker. Smoker just looked at him for a moment, then looked back out at the Marines. "Take everyone off this project," said Smoker. "I will have a word with the mayor myself. Bring everyone back to base."

"Yes, sir," said Winslow. He immediately turned and strode toward the Marines. Keiko struggled with a smile spreading across her face. The more she learned about Captain Boneta the more she questioned his sanity and the length of his assignment in Loguetown.

"Where are we going next, Takagi?" asked Smoker.

Keiko took it as a good sign that he wasn't calling her 'Marine.' "The first restaurant, sir," she replied. She stepped around Smoker to begin leading the way toward another street, this one full of bustling people and colorful umbrellas. Keiko glanced back at the park and caught McNally Lance's eye; she waved at him and he waved back, then gave her a thumbs-up. She snickered.

Smoker gave her a sharp look. Keiko flashed him a smile. "You don't like Project Pretty, sir?"

He just looked at her.

"Never mind, sir," said Keiko, looking ahead. Really, though: _Project Pretty_? She shook her head as she thought about it and she couldn't keep herself from grinning. She could not even begin to fathom what Captain Boneta's priorities were.

Keiko and Smoker moved on to wend their way through a variety of people and carts. Keiko waved at a few more people she knew, and then at people she recognized; soon enough they had turned around a few corners and reached the restaurant. "Here it is," said Keiko, gesturing up at the restaurant. It was called _The Salty Seadog_ and half of the letters were falling off the building.

"Why," Smoker muttered to himself. He didn't seem to be looking for a response, so Keiko just tried not to snicker and entered first, pushing through the shabby swinging doors.

The inside was no better than the outside. The kitchen was visible from the front of the restaurant. It was dark and dank inside, mostly populated by quiet and old alcoholics. Smoker and Keiko lingered by the front for a few minutes, where a sign told them to wait to be served. Finally a reluctant Marine came shuffling out of the back with a dirty white apron tied on.

Keiko covered her mouth with one hand as the man walked over. He was watching his feet—until he reached them, looked up, and seemed startled. "O—oh," he said. He glanced at Keiko for an explanation.

"This is Captain Smoker," said Keiko. "Boneta's gone."

The Marine grinned. "Oh, good," he said, then quickly looked toward Smoker as if expecting to be reprimanded. When Smoker said nothing, the Marine added, "Er—there are about ten more Marines back there. Do you have any orders?"

"Yes," said Smoker. "Take everyone back to base. Where's the owner?"

"I'll send him out," said the Marine. "Thank you, sir." He shot Smoker a relieved smile, turned on his heel, and strode toward the back, already untying his apron as he went. There was ensuing clattering from the back; then a tall, angry-looking man with spotty hair and funny eyebrows stormed toward them.

"What's this?" the man demanded. "You're takin' my help away?"

"Yes I am," said Smoker. He was still smoking his cigar, and he released a puff of smoke in the man's direction. The man waved the smoke away irritably. "I'm the new captain of the Loguetown base. Whatever debt the old one owed you, you have to take it up with him, not me. I need these Marines."

"Well, so do I!" the owner retorted. He stepped toward Smoker, jabbing him in the chest with his index finger. "Boneta owed me and I'll be takin' my help for as long as we agreed!"

Smoker seemed to suddenly draw himself up into his full height. He must have rolled his shoulders back or lifted his chin, maybe both, because suddenly he seemed even taller than before. This was saying something, as Keiko had already felt short standing by him; her head only reached his shoulders. "_No_, you will not," said Smoker. His voice was deeper, even, rumbling. Keiko suppressed a shiver and then flushed. She looked away and pretended to check out the restaurant. "If you have a problem with me you can take it up with the World Government."

The owner recoiled. _Good choice,_ Keiko thought. He looked toward Keiko. "What about you, huh?" the guy demanded. "You're Takagi, right? Why don't you tell him the civilians need help?"

"Sorry, sir," said Keiko gallantly. "But it is not my place to do so. I also happen to think he is right."

The owner threw his hands in the air. "Well, you've just won over everyone, haven't you?" he snarled at Smoker. "Fine, you can have your Marines back! But just be expecting an inspection from the World Government later!"

"Thank you, sir," said Smoker, inclining his head toward the abrasive man. The owner sneered at him before turning and ambling off, muttering angrily to himself. Keiko and Smoker both turned at once and made their way back out into the street.

Once there Keiko shook her head. She understood that the man needed help; but he had a brother with a restaurant only a few streets over. Why on Earth would he not simply go to him to ask for aid? And, to be honest, the restaurant was so empty that Keiko doubted it needed much help. It was on its last legs anyway.

Keiko was already a few feet away from the restaurant when she realized that Smoker wasn't following. She turned back to see where he was. He was watching her with an inscrutable expression, and he took a stride toward her. "Yes, sir?" Keiko asked, tilting her head a little to the left quizzically.

"How does _everyone_ know you?" Smoker asked.

Keiko grinned and shrugged. "I'm a bit of a people person," she said.

"I've noticed," Smoker said dryly. He took his cigar and stamped it out on the side of the restaurant they'd just left. Then he proceeded to toss it into a potted plant.

Keiko frowned and walked back over to pick it up. Smoker was looking at her as if she was even crazier than he'd thought. "Sorry, sir," said Keiko. "Trash tends to bother me, is all."

Smoker grunted, which could have meant anything, and the two started on their way again. When Keiko spotted a trash can she tossed the cigar into it. Once rid of the cigar she clapped her hands together to rid them of the residue.

As they traveled down the street and over another couple alleys, Keiko said, "If I may ask, sir—where is, and what exactly is, Anterieur? I've never heard of it before."

"It is another harbor for pirates," said Smoker. "It was held hostage by pirates for years."

Keiko frowned. "There seem to be quite a few of those in the East Blue."

"Oh, it wasn't in the East Blue," Smoker replied. Keiko cast him a curious look. "It was in the West Blue," he explained. He offered no further explanation and left Keiko wondering where, exactly, the man had come from.

Still, he hadn't exactly asked for her personal history, so Keiko would give him the same respect. She wondered how Madam Mendoza had even known about Anterieur. Maybe she hailed from the West Blue, too. Keiko made a mental note to ask the woman at their next encounter.

The next restaurant was in much better shape than the first. It was called _Harley's_ and looked well-organized. There was also a long line of people trailing out the front door. "Excuse us," said Keiko, as she pushed her way through them. "Excuse us, sorry about that—oh, hello, Ethan—sorry, sorry…"

Once inside they were met almost immediately by a real waitress. "We need to see the Marines," said Keiko. "Are they in the back?"

"Yeah, they're in the back," said the waitress. She craned her neck to look past Keiko and Smoker. "Sorry, but there's a lot of people—can you two find the back yourselves?"

"Yes, of course," said Keiko. She glanced at Smoker before leading the way through the tables. They passed through two dining rooms before they reached the room with the kitchen attached. Keiko entered the kitchen first, followed by Smoker. Everything in the kitchen was silver and official-looking.

Keiko was peering around and trying to locate Marines—and trying to mentally keep her stomach from growling—when all of a sudden Smoker shoved her backwards, his arm diagonal across her chest. A huge knife went hurtling by and slammed into the wall right by the door. There was silence in the previously clattering-filled kitchen; then someone yelped, "Sorry! Hope that didn't hit anyone!"

Keiko gulped and looked at the quivering knife. "Ai," she said. _Thank You, Lord in heaven, for Captain Smoker!_ "Thanks."

Smoker nodded at her and dropped his arm. Keiko automatically straightened her clothes and then looked up again. She tried not to think about where Smoker's arm had just been; fortunately Parkins Jem appeared from around the corner to distract her. "Hey, Jem-kun," Keiko called. He glanced up and gave the two his gap-toothed smile; then he sailed over toward them.

"Hello, Takagi-chan," he said sagely. He looked over and saw the knife in the wall. "Sorry about that; Paul is better at throwing knives than cooking with them."

Keiko tried not to laugh. She could see it. "This is Captain Smoker," Keiko said, gesturing at the man in question. Jem straightened up immediately. "Boneta left this morning."

Jem grinned at Keiko and she smiled back, appreciating his relief. Smoker said, "I'm ordering all of the Marines back to base."

"Oh, thank God," said Jem. "I mean, thank you, sir." He glanced toward Keiko. "These kitchens were so crowded nobody can _move_." He looked back at Smoker. "Do you need to see the owner, sir?"

"Yes, please," said Smoker. He sounded pained.

"I'm on it, sir," said Jem. He saluted Smoker, turned, and hurried off, disappearing around one of the many silver corners of the kitchen.

Keiko studiously avoided looking at Smoker. She did kind of wish that she'd done what Arya would have and grabbed his arm. Arya was a true flirt and took advantage of any situation to do so, particularly in situations with attractive men. Then again, Keiko decided, doing so would have been dishonest of her, as she wouldn't have been being herself.

Before she confused herself any further the presumed owner walked around the corner. "Yes, hello," he said. He was wiping off his hands with a towel. He was as tall as the owner of _The Salty Seadog_ and had similar eyebrows. He stuck his hand out toward Smoker, ignoring Keiko. "I'm Harley. Thanks for taking these Marines off my hands. To be honest I didn't really need the help."

Smoker shook his hand shortly. "Sure," he said.

Keiko, though, was already irritable with this Harley man. Not only had he passed her over completely, as men who were uncomfortable or disagreed with female Marines were apt to do, he had had an overflow of help and hadn't offered any to his own brother. "I hope you and your brother get along well in the business," Keiko said a little sharply to Harley.

Harley finally looked at her. "Oh, hello," he said distastefully. "I didn't see you there." He looked at her uniform. "I always forget that they're recruiting women now. No offense, of course." His tone insinuated the exact opposite of everything he'd said.

"Indeed they do," said Keiko sweetly. "They started about forty to fifty years ago. It must be nothing like back in the day."

Smoker coughed as Harley's expression darkened. "Thanks for complying," Smoker said to Harley. He touched Keiko's shoulder blade, signaling to her to let it go.

"You're welcome," said Harley to Smoker, ignoring Keiko again. "Have a good day, Captain." He didn't even look at Keiko before turning and walking away. Keiko mimed him behind his back for her own amusement.

"Come on," muttered Smoker. He fairly steered Keiko back out of the kitchen, keeping his hand on her shoulder, and then straight out the front door. Keiko passed her friend Ethan along the way—Arya had set her up with him once and although it hadn't worked out they had remained friends—and waved at him.

Smoker didn't move his hand from Keiko's shoulder until they were halfway back down the street. He finally sighed, dropping his arm. "At least you handled it well," he remarked.

Keiko couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, so she just flashed him a grin. "I like to think so," she said. "Thank you, sir."

"Anytime," said Smoker. There was no mistaking the sarcasm that time. Keiko finally really smiled up at him, and he smirked back; then Keiko resumed leading the way back toward the harbor.


End file.
